March 28, 2005
By Anna Doherty
Some time ago, when I was entering church, I was somewhat disgusted to find
that the young man walking in front of me went in the church and slammed the door in
my face. My courteous brother then proceeded to open the door for me like the true
gentleman he is. This whole episode got me to thinking, “What ever happened to good
old fashioned manners?”
It seems that over the past decades, there has been a great decline in the use of
common civilities. A man no longer cares for his fairer companion in regards to helping
her with her coat and opening the car door. Instead of speaking to elders and addressing
them as Mr. Jones and Mrs. Green, teens say “hey Frank” and “hi Ellen”.
Another way we often show discourtesy to others, but especially ourselves, is in
the way in which we dress. Self dignity has left, and girls and women often dress
exposing body parts which make me embarrassed to know that we belong to the same
gender. They also wear pants that are so tight, that you wonder how they put them on.
That is not to say girls are the only ones that disgrace themselves in dressing immodestly.
Guys also dress in a self degrading manner with pants which are worn too low
and often expose various under garments. Both sexes are guilty of wearing clothes that a
few decades ago, would have not even passed as pajamas. What ever happened to the self
worth that went with button down shirts and nice dresses?
Modern day Americans also seem to show unseemly mannerisms in the way they
speak. Commenting on how hot Tom or Sarah is in front of ten other people is not my
idea of showing proper manners in public or respect and admiration for the other person.
I have also noticed a great number of very colorful expletives used in everyday language.
It is not really necessary to use those self-degrading words to make a powerful statement.
Although we have at some time or another fallen into bad manners, it is not
entirely our own fault. Throughout our day, we are constantly bombarded by the media
which paints bad etiquette as acceptable. Watching a popular television program, what do
we see?
The beautiful young lady is adorned in tight jeans and a tank top that in my book
would pass as an undershirt. The young man shows no shame in commenting on her
beauty in a somewhat vulgar and uncouth way while his friends laugh in acceptance. Mom
and Dad find disrespect, bad behavior and anything else that comes along, suitable to them
because they want to fit in and not look old fashioned to their kid’s friends.
As creatures always in search of beauty, girls will follow the skimpy dress
examples of the ladies on TV thinking that they will also be attractive. Teens think that
they must speak profanely and disgrace themselves to have friends and fun. On
television, teens see parents portrayed as dumb and stupid, so they don’t mind being
insolent to their own parents and elders.
Popular music and movies also encourage everything contrary to common
civilities. Cussing, immodesty, and general disrespect for oneself and other people are
rampant in modern media.
Another thing that has caused the unfortunate death of good manners is the
parental lack of demanding manners. Mothers no longer really care what their girls are
wearing or how they should act in the company of a young man. Nor do fathers take their
responsibility.
It is the duty of the head of the house to instruct a son in the proper way to act
when in the presence of the fairer gender and proper manners when in public. It is the
duty of both parents to demand respect from their children: for themselves, for their
children and for others.
America has greatly reduced her standards by which she expects people to act in
public. It’s no big deal if you make uncivil hand gestures while driving along the
highway. Bad word? They’re not bad; everyone uses them. Immodesty? What’s that?
The fact is that people no longer care how they treat themselves or others.
Objectionable dress is okey-dokey because I can dress (degrade my self) any way I want
to. Profanity is excusable because America has freedom of speech. Disrespect is
accepted because kids no longer care about their parents. Have we become so caught up
in ourselves that we can no longer address adults with respect?
As silly as it sounds, you might try resurrecting the common courtesy America
used to be proud of by starting at home. Instead of bawling across the breakfast table,
“Hey Ma, gimme da toast,” you might try it like this, “Mom could you please pass me the
toast.” Another instance to practice your manners might be going out the front door on
your way to school and saying, “Good morning Mr. Walter, how is every thing?” instead
of “Yo Pete, gotta run ta class.” If we sometimes thought of the poor image we are
projecting with unscrupulous manners we might start exercising more courtesy.
We might also try to encourage our friends to have better manners through our
example. Instead of wearing the most revealing shirt in your closet, why don’t you try
one that has sleeves and doesn’t have a neck line that cuts down to your belly button.
Also try wearing a pair of jeans that is not as tight as a wet suit and shows your belly
button. If you really want to be daring, you might even try wearing a skirt (not a mini
skirt) instead of pants.
Boys can show good etiquette and self regard by wearing their pants on their
waist instead of down by their knees. They also might try opening the door for a young
lady as they walk along.
Bad words could also be eliminated from vocabularies to the advantage of
everyone.
To really fix the problem, Americans as a whole need to revive their demands of
courtesy. We all need to ask film makers and music artists to produce media that displays
well cultivated manners as good instead of stupid. Having gentleman opening doors and
ladies dressing modestly can influence many people to start these practices. Demanding
good etiquette for ourselves and others should be something that we all try to do and not
be afraid to practice.
If this article hasn’t already convinced you to change your ways, this quote by
Chinese writer, Lu Xun might encourage you to practice good manners for a different
reason. “It is always good for young people to be on the polite and amiable side.
Politeness and amiability breed wealth, as they say.”
How do I tell my parents if I get pregnant?
---Lindsey
Regardless the situation, the sooner the better. It will probably be the most difficult
experience you will have to face during your entire teenage years. Yeah, it won’t be
easy, but this is what you should do: get your parents in a calmed environment, such as
the living room when the TV is off and it is quiet around the house. Tell them you know
about the effects of sex, and the possible outcomes. Then break the news to them.
Explain to them what your plans are for the future. Are you going to keep the baby, or
would adoption be a better option? You have thought about the subject enough to know
what to say and would have a good idea of how much a baby would cost in the long-run,
and what to do for baby-sitters, etc. Tell them what the father of the baby wants to do,
and his role in the situation. The one thing I most certainly would want you to do, is
finish up school. Do not drop out of High School. Get your education first, then think
about a part-time, or full-time job if you think you could handle it. I am sure your parents
will understand, and they will love you no matter what happens. It could be the most
challenging experience you will face, but it could also be the most rewarding. Good luck,
and be grand.
---Doc Martin
Have a problem and think Doc Martin can help? Send your question to
teenzone@infoway.org.
MTAC is working hard on their upcoming project. Their next project is collecting
supplies to send to the troops. We will collect supplies at area schools and give them to
the Blue Star Mothers who will send them to the troops. We especially need supplies for
the hot weather. Sunscreen and lip balm with sunscreen would be especially helpful.
Because of the hot temperature in Iraq, however, the Blue Star Mothers ask that we not
donate any chocolate. We need students to set up collection boxes in their schools to
help gather supplies. There will also be a box set up in the Farmington Public Library.
MTAC members also wanted to spread some encouraging words to the troops and will be
making a CD to send to them. We would like poetry, letters and anything else to help
encourage our men and women in the service.
If you would be interested in having the Mayor’s Teen Advisory Council help your
school to “Rally around the Troops,” please contact the Teen Zone by calling 566-2201
or e-mailing teenzone@infoway.org.
The Teen Zone has a great addition each week! Every week, we’ll ask you a question
based on "The Daily Spark" by Spark Notes. Anyone with an idea can write a response,
and send it to the Teen Zone at mtacyap@infoway.org.
Last week we asked you about life on other planets, and Chet had some thoughts on the
subject:
“Of course there is life on other planets. The size of the universe is so large that Earth can
not be a fluke. However, these life forms could be completely different from what we
view life as. We are carbon based Life forms, while they could be made out of Silicon, or
maybe Boron. And they may also have only evolved to be one-celled organisms. But it is
very likely they do exist.”
Dictionary.com says that a hero is “A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of
purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.” Who would you say
is a hero? How has their example affected your life?
Send your thoughts to the Teen Zone at mtacyap@infoway.org or for more information,
call the Teen Zone at 566-2201.